framing sex as one of the basic human needs is just wrong and coercive. you will not die without sex- sex is not a right. you are never entitled to sex the same way that you are entitled to food, water, oxygen, etc. it’s this mentality that fuels rape culture tbh.
twelve years old and terrified / pick a boy to have a crush on like picking a wilted yellow dandelion on an abandoned playground, pluck all the petals off / “he loves me, he loves me not” / crush the remnants back into the earth / twelve years old and sleeping at your best friend’s house, she’s been dating her boyfriend for a few months now / you’re never gonna know a love like that / stop making wishes on dandelions, they’re weeds / other girls don’t decide which boys they have crushes on, what’s wrong with you? / twelve years old and doodling your names in an orange heart because it’s his favorite color and that just makes sense / maybe you’re just not like the other girls / your best friend makes your heart race and you would do anything to make her happy / he thinks you’re a nice person maybe you can love him / twelve years old and you’re not quite sure what to do with your heart it isn’t working / your friends encourage you to talk to him and you force a smile like an actress who doesn’t want the role / why do you want to impress her so bad / dandelions don’t grow in the winter and it’s january / oh my god her smile / twelve years old and maybe you just don’t deserve a love like that / are you allowed to look at her like that? / all your friends think you’re boy crazy so maybe you’re doing something right / why hasn’t her boyfriend told her he loves her yet is he seeing what you’re seeing / stop looking at her like that / if he doesn’t like you back maybe you’re just not meant for love / not that kind of love / twelve years old and who’s gonna tell you what love is?
the word Lesbian, for so many of us, feels almost like a slur. not quite, but it feels like such a heavy, scary, dirty word. for so many of us, coming in to our identities, coming out even just to ourselves is more than just being able to be honest about our attraction, but even to just articulate the name for our identity feels terrifying! to be able to just say who/what you are often requires us to reclaim the word lesbian. it is powerful. and scary. it’s why so many of us avoid it, using other softer words that we have less painful memories associated with. it’s also why so many people shy away from calling us A Lesbian.
it is not your fault if you are nervous or not ready to use it for yourself. I encourage you to try it, though, just in private. try saying it out loud, with your voice (or whatever communication method you primarily use). it is OKAY to use it, to say I AM A LESBIAN!!
